Day 3050-51—Call me Captain Recovery! How I both suffered and thrived and completed but did not finish the Shawnee Hill 100! —

 

         I remember when I first signed up for the race part of me realized it might be a bad idea considering all that I had going on at the beginning of the year and what little I knew about the race.

         I knew it was a small race, and I knew that the trail was considered relatively tough but not necessarily anything to worry about. After all, even though, I had not ran a 100-mile trail run before I had ran multiple trail ultras and just completed my second 100 in June. And I won, the 9-hour trail run I completed, so I felt physically and mentally prepared.  

 

         The first Loop—34 miles—

 

My plan was to go slow and try to learn the course. It was slightly confusing because you redid some of the area’s multiple times. It was a figure 9 configuration.

 

         I ran with this guy I met, Rich, for most of the first loop. We started talking after he saw me stop and take a picture during the first couple miles. He talked about how much he loved ultra-runners because they usually try to help each other. This was going to be his first ultra-100, but he had completed multiple full iron mans. He told me he thought, “a full iron man is so much easier for me to do compared to a 100-mile race.”

         He told me his goal was to complete either a 100-mile race or a full iron man in every state in the US. It was great having him to talk to and the first loop went by fast. He asked if I would do the Shipley with him, and I plan to. He was great to run with. I went the wrong way for a little while and added about .4 onto my race, but I figured that it was no big deal. I would just watch out for that spot next time.

         It took me a while to realize why I missed this spot and others. The course was well marked with flags every tenth of a mile for most of the race; however, the turns sometimes were confusing, and the flags were not equipped with reflectors, which made it difficult to navigate at night. I kept looking and running the right, knowing the flags were always on my right, but sometimes the turns were not indicated on the right-hand side but more in the center because they were left hand turns. I would continue on what looked like the main trail, and not see the turn at all.     

 

         I didn’t eat anything except a few pickles and some snow cones. My stomach ended up bothering me, and I ended up being sick. I kept taking more hydration pills and pounding my water, but I was not feeling better yet.

         I took off without Rich the last two miles of the last loop. I ran into this guy standing on the trail. I asked what was going on and he said he didn’t see the flag. It looked like a stream of muddy water about twenty feet wide. I scanned the other side and found the flag going up a muddy trail.

         I took off walking slowly through the water not knowing the depth. It did have a dangerous spot right in front of the trail entrance, so you had to walk around the hole to the right, to avoid tripping in the deep part.

        

Loop #2—9 hours and 34 mils in—

 

I finished the first lap in a little under 9 hours which was almost exactly what I planned. My family wasn’t there yet, but I told my wife to drive to the next aid station if that happened, which was 6 miles away, so no big deal. I ended up being very thankful they were there at that aid station with me.  

         I waited for Rich and started moving again. I was still feeling okay, but Rich kept telling me he thought I should take off without him. I told him I was holding back until mile 70 at the earliest, so we had plenty of time.

        

         My stomach started bothering me again, and all I had eaten was watermelon that a kind aid worker gave me at the last aid station. I felt like I could be sick again. We were on the easiest part of the race, a two-mile rock road to the first aid station.

         I was walking and then had to stop a few times as I got sick and continued to empty out my stomach.

         Rich, who is a paramedic, told me when I said I was dehydrate that “you have heat exhaustion, you need an IV.”

He said he was going to talk to them at the next aid station and see if he could get me an IV. He knew I was going to want to continue, so the risk was that I wouldn’t be able to continue if I took an IV.

 

         I walked until I saw my three-year daughter standing there on the side of the road with my wife’s parents and wife. I walked faster and gave my daughter a hug. Seeing her standing there made me feel 200 times better at least.

         She said after hugging me, “dad hot,” of course, she was right.  

 

I sat down in my chair as a group of people started to surround me. First, it was confirmed I could not take an IV and continue the race, which I was fine with. I didn’t want to get unfair advantage. I am not the Lance Armstrong type. One of the race directors was there and she told me, “Look it is a tough race but no one DNFs here. You have already done a 50K you take that. I have done over a 100 100-mile races, but I have had to stop over a dozen times. ”

         She was being super nice, but I didn’t know what to say. I just wanted to cry. The aid station people gave me some Pepto pills, and I was sipping on ginger ale.

 

         I couldn’t believe it was possible that I would have to stop this early. I was trying to hold onto some hope, but I wasn’t thirsty. I did not want to eat or drink anything.

 

I would only stop a race if I was risking serious injury. I asked the race director what if I could keep going and she said, “look you can sit here for 6 hours if you want and then do another loop to get the 100K. That is totally up to you. However, the Paramedic just got here and whatever he says you will have to do. I am only the race director, but if he says it is unsafe. He makes the final call.”

 

         I didn’t say anything in response. The paramedic had a calming demeanor. He was there with his adult son and clearly took his work seriously. He heard a lot of people got sick last year, so he came out to volunteer this year.

         He looked at me and was surprised my heart rate was so low 85-90. He took my temperature, and I wasn’t overheating still normal 98.x. He said, “I am used to dealing with unhealthy people. So it is just different you are dealing with someone who is so healthy.”

He asked if I was still sweating and for a moment, I thought I hadn’t, but my wife and mother-in-law had the pictures of me coming in, so they confirmed I was still sweating.

         He asked for a flashlight to check my eyes. He confirmed they were dilating some.

         “I could give you an IV, but you are not a candidate for an IV, so just take a moment and sip this warm Gatorade.” I told him I was taking pills but not drinking electrolytes, which he said was a real problem. He told me to drink the Gatorade and see how I felt after. I still was not thirst, but surprisingly I could sip it some. I was not sure if it was working, but so far so good. Within 10 minutes I finished the Gatorade and started getting other electrolyte drinks including some of my liquid IV, which made me smile a little because I couldn’t get a real IV, which Rich told me would have made me feel a 100% better within 10 minutes. I got my Liquid IV and some warm Gatorade and that was all I needed.  

         Everyone started commenting on how much better I was looking. My mother-in-law was blown away with how quickly I had changed from when I came in. I stared walking around some to see if my stomach was going to bother me now that I had put more fluid in it.

         So far, so good. The paramedic told me I needed to get my vest wet, so I put ice in Ziplock bags in my vest. When I started moving again, I was moving fast.

         My watch said that mile 41 (or 42?). I had taken an hour, so I guessed I had been sitting there roughly 30 minutes. I was determined to catch up to Rich and surprise him with my return.

 

         There was a part in the 6-mile section that was a lot of boulders and rock formations. One part you had to climb with your hands up big rocks. The first time I did it, it was not that bad, but now that I have caught my second wind, I flew up those rocks like they were nothing. I ran into two other runners who had seen me at the last aid station, and I heard the guy yell, “Oh my God!” When he saw me back moving quickly.

 

         I caught up to Rich at the next aid station, and he was telling the aid workers about me when he saw me.  

He said, “Back from the dead!” It was a great mental boost, and the aid station workers were so encouraging. One woman who I also saw at the Berryman. Now, she seemed like an old friend because I had seen her in these intense times of need. I finished the loop with Rich feeling elated and thinking that the worst was behind me.

 

         Last Loop—How I both did 100 miles but did not complete the race —

 

It was dark, and I had already gone the wrong way and added two miles onto my race in the last loop. I was looking to the right, but this was indicated in the left center of a big trail, and I was walking on the right-hand side. The racer behind me had made the same mistake, so I had asked her if we were going the wrong way, but she didn’t think so, so I walked with her again the wrong way for a while before she came the same conclusion I did. We went back the other way walking slowly to see the markers. When I found it, I called out to her, and then I continued to shout out sharp turns, and then started counting the flags for myself to help me keep track, “57 containers of Tofu!” I shouted out to help me remember the distance between the red flags. Each flag I tried to come up with a different thing to help me remember, “73 pieces of Corn!”  

        

         When I started the last lap I had my brighter headlamp, which I could afford to use now because it was 2 a.m., and the sun would be up soon. I was eying a 11- noon finish, and I was confident I would finish. The race director who I had talked to when I had the heat exhaustion told me, “wow, you look so much better than you did!” 

         I said without thinking, “And, I feel better, and I am going to finish!”

 

I had my bright light on. I remember all the places I went wrong last time, and I was thinking, “I just need to make it 4 more hours until it starts getting light! And I will get to run the hottest part at night!” Everything looked like it was going to work out, until it didn’t.

 

         I feel bad writing about what I remember happening at this point because I feel like I know I was not exactly thinking clearly. I was thinking about the flags and how I was going to keep looking for them, and how I just had to make it a little bit long until light.

         I made it to the aid station where I had blown up on the previous lap feeling great now. I sat for a moment, and then got up to leave. I remember someone telling me to go to the right, even though I thought, “I go back the way I came, right?” But they told me now and told me to go to the right. And I asked “isn’t it 6 miles until the next aid? and they said no 5. So, I listened and went that way. Now, I cannot help but being frustrated I didn’t try to clarify things before I got moving.

         I kept waiting for the boulders and the rocks, but they never came. All I was thinking about was “PAY ATTENTION TO THE WHOLE PATH! WATCH OUT FOR ALL POSSIBLE TURNS!”

I made it all the way to the wrong aid station. I knew it was wrong when I got there, but I was just in shock. I always ask the aid station workers where to go because I don’t trust myself at that point in the race. At the same time—everyone is tired, not just me, and thank you to all the aid station workers and the race directors! Everyone was great—And, I don’t want this to come off like I am blaming anyone. Everyone I talked to was helpful and friendly. There was a sign that I could have read at the entrance, but it was dark, so I didn’t see it. I think I am finally learning that I need to accept how much responsibility I need to take for directions on these races. I need to always have a downloaded map, so this doesn’t happen next time.   

         I did keep thinking “WHERE ARE THE BOULDERS?!” and “WHY HAVEN’T I CLIMBED UP THOSE ROCKS YET?!” But then, what was my other solution? I turn around because I don’t see some things I thought I remembered the other times, but it was dark, and I was only looking at the trail. My watch started acting weird, so I couldn’t trust what I was reading. It was pausing randomly to download what I have done, but then would pause again, so I did not know how much I had run anymore exactly. I kept just hitting the button to get it to continue the run when I noticed it, but it was not reassuring. I remember being thankful it still could tell the time. I was able to calculate everything later based on how long the sections were and the two miles I had already added on to the race. So, if I had downloaded the route into my watch, maybe this would not have happened. But my watch still would have died. I should have used ultra trac mode, but the watch gave me the wrong time. It said it would last 32 hours, but it only lasted 24 hours and had problems for 4 hours of those 24. The four hours that were the hardest part of the race when I needed it the most. It started acting up. And part of me really thought, “Daniel you should put a downloaded map of some kind just in case.” But I didn’t. Next time I will.

         I felt so bad for the workers who had to tell me the news. So, “you have to go back to that aid station.”

         “And it is five miles away? There is nowhere else I could have turned wrong?”

         He confirmed with an older gentleman that he was working with. I refilled up my water bottles, and I headed back out to the aid station.

 

         This was the hardest part mentally in the race. I was so mad about what had happened, but I knew it wasn’t anyone’s fault really, and I tried to remember that it would make for a good story. There was a lot of factors to consider and everyone I spoke to had only but the best intentions.

         What a challenge it was for me, I told myself. “I thought you came here to run 100 miles, and you haven’t done that yet!” That’s what I kept reminding myself of. I knew at this point it was going to be difficult to finish before the 3 p.m. cut even if I could manage to do the 112 miles to complete the race officially. However, I had come to run 100 miles, and I could still make that happen.  

         I immediately made another wrong turn heading back because it was even more difficult to follow the trail backwards in the dark. I laughed at myself. “now you are going to get lost again because you are frustrated about getting lost!”

         What funny irony that is! And I did it immediately, but it was a good reminder to STOP and WALK and DO NOT RUN if you RUN you WILL GET LOST!

         So, I had to continue my different strategies of counting distance between flags, but when my watched stopped working I would just count out loud, “One, two three four five six seven eight nine ten eleven twelve” until I got to another flag and then I would start over, “one two three four five six seven eight nine.” So I knew depending on the number how normal the distance between was.

         When I made it back to where I went the wrong way I knew it was going to be hard not to seem a little frustrated about what happened. I remember saying let the race directors know what happened and ask them what they want me to do because I was past the cut off (even though I had been there before) To their credit they let me continue. I am sure the aid workers thought I had lost my mind when they explained to me, “it is almost 19 miles back to here, so you will have to run 19 miles and it is already almost seven a.m. Do you think you could make it back here in less than 6 hours?”

         I said that I knew I could keep going, and that I hadn’t run 100 miles yet, so I still needed to do that before I stopped moving. I said, “Well won’t I be at a 100 when I get back here?” He said, “over a 100,” and when I did the math later, (I feel like I am still underestimating because of all the wrong turns. I only gave myself a +2 for previous wrong turns which I can confirm for sure when my watch was still being mostly reliable) but at least 112 if I finished, so that makes it 102 where I stopped.

         Obviously, part me thought I could make it to 112, and it would be an epic finish, but my old friend the sun showed up and stopped me. The next ten miles were not that bad. It was dark, and I knew what was coming up next, so I went through it making pretty good time. It was 6:30 when I left, and it was 8:30 when I made it the last aid station before the longest stretch out in the open without an aid station but there was a water drop 6-7 miles away from the spot where one of the workers took my picture sitting in a chair for a moment as I refueled and put more ice in my vest to help cool me down. I was feeling optimistic that I would be able to do the 112-mile finish before 3 p.m., but it was going to be close. Everyone told me I was looking good, but I knew I had planned to look good for 102 miles between 29-30 hours of running, I had not anticipated an addition 10 miles and 3 hours of being out in the sun.      

         Those 6-7 miles to the next aid station were the most difficult on the race and were the most exposed portions of the course. I took me roughly 2:45 minutes to do that distance. That’s why I was looking forward to getting to do it at night when it wouldn’t be hot; however, all together I ended up doing that portion three times in the sun.

         My watch was dead, and I started to feel more and more lightheaded, and I was struggling to stay focused. I had been doing run, walk, run walk, but then I just had to walk. I kept imagining that I would start going down steeply and I would know for sure I was close the water station and close to back to where I had started when I first went the wrong way.    

         I sat down for a moment, but then thought “what if I cannot get back up?” What if I pass out? How long will it take for someone to find me?” I did have my apple find me tag in my bag. It had been spotty, but it did offer some indication of my location to my wife.

         I started only walking. The heat was getting to me more and more, and I started feeling like I had lost all concept of time. I started going down, and I would get excited that the water stop would be close, only to struggle back up a seemingly impossible hill, only having to remind myself that I had done this twice already at a much quicker pace.

         My feet had gone through stages of intense pain because of all the blisters on the bottoms of each of them. I had not thought to do much except changing socks twice and initially putting a lot of Vaseline on them. In the future, I will need to try both new pair of socks at different intervals and reapplying Vaseline every x number of miles.

         I had never ran this long before, so I didn’t know what the last stage of the blister pain would be like, and it felt like I was suddenly BITTEN by a GIANT WASP or a SPIDER.

         I took off my shoe twice to check for the huge insect that had gotten into my shoe! I was both relieved and not relieved that there was no bug, just the next stage of intense pain from walking on blisters on both of my feet for many hours.  

         I sat down one more time and had those same thoughts about passing out or falling while jumping from one big rock to another. It didn’t feel so dangerous the other times, but now there was a lot more variables to consider. I had to admit to myself that I was becoming less and less reliable as an observer of time and reality. It was possible that I could make more mistakes. And, then what? I end up doing 115 miles?  

         I made the decision before I made it to the water stop that I would stop there. Maybe, if I was still running with someone else, I could keep going, but not by myself, not when I was losing my grasp on what was going on around me. I had a difficult time not going the wrong way when I was feeling a lot better, now everything is harder, and I have fewer things that are supporting me, like my watch. I had to make the call.

         The part of me that protects me from doing something I know could cause serious long-term danger stepped in. “You will have completed over 100 miles when you make it to the aid station. You finished what you came here to do. There is no reason to risk long term injury to get the buckle. In fact, it would be incredibly selfish if you kept going at this point.”

         It was selfish to have to finish just for me when I had done what I came here to do.

         I knew I was making the “right” decision for the “right reason,” but it was hard not feeling like I gave up, like the trail ended up beating me. The way I figured it, me and the trail were even for now. I did do over 100 miles, but it stopped me from getting that 100-mile buckle, so round one is a push. I will get you next time Shawnee Hills! You might have some moves, but I will learn from my mistakes: then, I am coming for you.

 

         A special thanks to my wife, my daughter, and her parents, and my dad for all coming down and supporting me on the race! You all were a huge help and were there when I needed you the most. Thank you to the paramedic who gave me time to recovery and seriously looked at my symptoms before making the call. A lot of other people would have handled that situation differently, and that made such a huge difference.

         Thanks to all the aid workers who gave up their time and resources to make this such a fun enjoyable experience. I was even given more vegan options than I have ever gotten before at any race! They were all the best and were so supportive each way.

         The guy who drove me back to meet my wife of course too! So many people to thank for making this event possible. The race directors. They showed up and were doing everything possible to help everyone get to their goals this weekend. I know things were not perfect from my perspective, but there was so much right and so much went well, so I am so thankful to you both for putting on this race. And letting me continue as far as I did.

 

*I just checked the race results, and I am listed at 11^th overall for the 100K, and If I had finished when I stopped at 102. I would have finished 3^rd overall in the race.

*It took me roughly 3 hours to complete the last 6-7 miles that I ran.