Day 3,484 —Mistakes to Learn from—

When I was barely able to use the bathroom the morning of the race, I was startled and immediately worried. I didn’t want food, which is usual for me before a race. I like to have a half banana or an apple. That’s usually all I eat.

I wanted to start the first lap strong, so I could bank some time and get away from the crowd. After about 7 miles, I started to slow down, and a few other runners passed me while I took some pictures and videos. I was trying to get into the race, but I just wasn’t in the right headspace; I wasn’t feeling amazing, and I needed to get hydrated.

To address my hydration needs, I drank water, Gatorade, Guroctane, and coconut water. No matter how much I slammed, I still had yet to pee. I was sweating and feeling both hot and cold.

Meanwhile, I kept drying my hair and changing clothes whenever I stopped. Eventually, I ran out of shirts to change into, but I started recycling older ones that had been sitting out longer. My dad was a huge help in picking up the area and keeping my shirts spread out, so they would dry.

I was so worried about hydration that I had neglected to snack as much as I usually do. Most of what I brought didn’t look good, so I only managed to eat two packs of gels. Then I thought I'd brought some I couldn’t find.

I ate fruit from several aid stations whenever I could, but I was only eating a few pieces each time. I knew I was battling dehydration, but I didn’t know how the lack of food in my body was going to hit me because it typically doesn’t do much damage.

The course wasn’t a difficult trail, but it wasn’t easy. There were rolling hills, some steep hills, and lots and lots of roots and rocks. On the first lap, I stumbled but caught myself each time, and then I changed my shoes because the ground was so hard. I wanted to wear my pavement shoes, which were more comfortable but also probably made me fall more.

On the second lap, I fell several times and started to lose my balance due to muscle strain in my arm and shoulder. I fell hard on the ground once, but confirmed I didn’t cut myself, so I was still feeling pretty good.

At the end of the third lap, I saw a guy a little ahead of me that I was able to catch up to. Right when I started to pass him, I tripped and face-planted on a stone, taking it in the chin. When I made it back, I asked the race director, who refilled my water bladder and was so kind and nice, if I was bleeding, and he said I was and tried to get me something to put on it, but I knew I would have something in one of my bags.

He looked at me and asked if I had been sweating, which I had; I couldn’t stop sweating, drinking liquids, and still not peeing. I put some cream on my chin, smiled, and went back out for another lap. This time, I was determined to slow down, running and walking without too much trouble, yet I was still feeling sick in my stomach and hot and cold. Finally, something broke through, and I was able to pee.

I smiled so big when I realized how hydrated I suddenly was, but it was becoming a problem having to make more frequent stops that could last over a minute. I ran most of my two laps with this guy from Missouri. He was a new father, and we talked about our daughters as we both tried to put the miles behind us. I was struggling mentally to stay positive, so he was good company, but on that last lap, I finished without him; he had fallen too far behind. I thought I was okay, but by the time I got there, I knew I needed to do a reality check.

Now, I think, “You idiot, you could have finished! You had 9 hours to sub 24 for only 28 miles!” but at that moment, I was feeling very sick and mentally losing my ability to focus and continue to make rational decisions. If I moved too fast, I was on the verge of falling down.

I mistakenly thought I’d spent about 4 hours on my last lap and expected two more would be the same, making 8 hours seem daunting given my temperature issues and lack of food.

I even gagged on a banana. Now that I was peeing so much, I couldn’t continue to drink any type of hydration powder; it was making me feel not great, and I wanted to stop having to go to the bathroom constantly. My dad told them for me, and he said they were nice about it. I wondered if I would have been able to call it if I were on my own.

We started driving back, but I suddenly had to stop every 45 minutes to use the bathroom. We both thought it wasn’t a long drive, and even though it can be dangerous at night, this trip was relatively flat and easy, taking one highway for most of it. I woke up after the impact, asking what had happened. My dad said he hit a deer, and we pulled over to look at the damage. The whole right side was gone, so we were stuck where we were for the rest of the night.

Thoughts on the Race

Great organization! Really, well done with the marking and the aid stations, and every detail was carefully thought out. One section was a little confusing, but it was fixed almost immediately. I wish I could have finished for all the people who supported the other runners I ran with and me! I met so many excellent people doing an amazing job.

Food and hydration! I had so much fresh fruit all the time, which made me super happy. A lot of hot food for people with different diets, but I am sure they probably would have been accommodating if I had asked. They are super nice people. They had Tailwind and Gatorade, so that was impressive to have an option and plenty of water.

Cellphone coverage and food access! This was one of the few races where I could receive and make phone calls throughout the course. Being close to the hotel and places to eat made this the most accessible ultra-marathon I have ever done.

Mistakes to learn from

Started out too fast and talked about numbers too much. I shouldn’t have let other people's conversations about their planned pace get to me so much, but they did. I should have stuck with not thinking about it all, just shooting for a sub-12-hour, 50-mile pace, and gone from there.

I was fooled again by the promise of an easy trail, which I need to ignore every time I see it.

Should have stopped earlier to hydrate and eat; maybe I would have been okay, but at the same time, I wasn’t hungry when I started this race, so I am not sure if I would have been able to force myself to eat enough to make a difference.

When I am not a hundred percent, change my expectations! Sure, a healthy me could have kept going and gotten under 20 hours, but I was foolish to think that I could have done that, considering how healthy I was. I don’t know if the 12-hour race influenced my performance, but I knew on race morning that I was dehydrated and not feeling like myself. I should have taken note and guzzled water when I got to the race early instead of standing around.

I would do this one again because of all the reasons I mentioned, and because I hate dropping out. Now, I need to go back and do well.