Day 4,023 —the St. Louis Marathon is Tomorrow!—

 

I cannot help but wonder what the term “the greater St. Louis. . .” is supposed to mean. That’s the new title for the St. Louis Marathon. They have gotten rid of the name “The GO! St. Louis,” which I thought was at least apt if not unique. I don't know what they mean by the new title. Is there a different St. Louis marathon they need to distinguish themselves from? My mood has been cyclothymic* recently, about the race.

It was such an awful time last year for reasons I wrote about, but the expo was painless yesterday, so that was a good sign. I also found some great new sunglasses! The only thing I need now that I don’t have is maybe some kind of belt to hold my phone. I have one that I have used in the past, but the zipper is broken. I have gone through a few different styles of belts, but none that I liked enough to keep going back. I think I just don’t like to carry extra weight around my hips, but it is easier that way or wearing some kind of vest, and I don’t want to do that.

I was thinking more about a documentary I watched yesterday about the wrestling family, who experienced a lot of family tragedy. The documentary was trying to explain things that were left out of the movie The Iron Claw. I liked learning about the history, but it is a sad story where a lot of people died by suicide and addiction. In the documentary, they seem to have the attitude that these things happen, but that doesn’t mean there was a curse. The movie version suggests the family was cursed.

I would argue a different perspective: anytime someone grows up in a family structure that discourages talking about their feelings and “being manly and silent,” over getting help, you’re setting yourself up for death by depression, addiction, and suicide. It is the way that society treats men as being weak if they show their emotions that makes them so susceptible to suicide. That’s why suicide is so prevalent in the military. It is a huge problem that no one seems to think needs to be addressed, but people die so frequently of suicide while serving and once they get home. People act like there is nothing that can be done, but a lot can be done. For one, people could stop telling men to not talk about their feelings, and structures could be put in place for people in the military to participate in group counseling while in services and afterward.

It doesn’t take a special kind of person to recognize that when men experience trauma but don’t have a healthy way to deal with it, they will usually turn to addiction, which works until it doesn’t, and when it doesn’t, there aren’t a lot of other ways they know to deal with their pain.

I would encourage ultrarunning, not for the running, but for being outside and the conversations that you get to have with other runners. Almost all ultrarunners I have talked to are dealing with some type of mental health issue. It is no secret. It is the reason that a lot of us are out there.

 

*Cyclothymic is a new word for me that I wanted to use in today’s writing. It means having mood swings between happy and sad.