Day 4,025 —It was Raining—

         I was thinking about the marathon this morning. I feel ambivalent because I physically did well, and I have accomplished more this year than I have in any other year that I can think of. However, when your focus is narrow and you are only considering how you have done on a certain race, it can be disheartening.

         I want to feel good about yesterday; I did feel good about today, completing 6 miles and feeling strong afterward. I went down a road parallel to Gravois and ran a slightly different way home.

         The ground was wet, and it was raining off and on, but it was light enough not to make a difference. I passed the horses on Grant’s trail, and I was thankful to visit them for a moment. They don’t seem to mind the rain so much. Most of the time when I see them, they’re sleeping. It is rare to see them sitting down like deer do, but I feel like I have seen them on the ground before. I am pretty sure they sleep standing up.

         I have fallen asleep while running before, but I have never tried to go to sleep while standing up. I wonder if I could, or if I would just fall. Yesterday was the 25th St. Louis Marathon, which means that I have been at the majority of them in the past 25 years! If only I started running them when I was a little younger. Going the wrong way yesterday made me think about possibly getting disqualified, and that scared me more than anything to break my streak.

         I know it wouldn’t be the end of the world if I missed one, but I get attached to my routines, and I love having some traditions in my life that I can count on. I hope to run that race with Vivian and Felix one day, but if they’re not into it, I will understand; however, they’re both so athletic. I have never known a 1-year-old to be able to walk over a mile before, and Vivian has always gone on long walks with me. She loves being outside. I took them to the Botanical Gardens today, and they ran around in circles with walking sticks. I couldn’t help but think that they seemed like me with my poles doing the 200 miles a couple of weeks ago.

I got a 52-mile race in two weeks, so it won’t be long until I get another chance to beat myself in a race. I think this will be my 4th consecutive Berryman. I did one by myself, one with my dad, and one with Joel last year. I cannot believe it has already been 4 years.