Day 4,319—Pushups at the Track—

 

     I went straight to the track this morning. I wasn't feeling amazing, and I thought maybe doing laps would put me in a better headspace. It is incredible to see how many people use the track. Soccer players rotated most of the day. Football players practiced field goals. At one point, someone was hitting baseballs. Other people played soccer in one of the corners. That doesn’t count the random people who walk or run for a while. There are always some people who talk on the phone while they walk. Usually, there is a couple or a group. I imagine they are old friends who have been walking together for most of their lives. A man approached the track entrance with his son and a bike. He left when he saw the sign that said, “No bikes.” After two hours on the track and 14 miles, I was ready to go somewhere else.

       At the grocery store, I took a break, sitting on a bench while I had my drinks. On the way back, I deliberately added distance, planning to finish with 5 miles left when I returned to the track. I kept thinking about whether this was enough running for the day, especially knowing I had a day off tomorrow. These thoughts stayed with me: Is this really enough, or should I be running more today? I realized I rarely feel like I have "run enough," no matter how much I do. I wondered if this feeling is about wanting to improve or just part of my nature.

       When I got home, I decided I needed to take my kids to the track. On the way there, my daughter told me she was the fastest kid at her school and probably in the world. She said she wanted to go to the track so she could get some training done. She said that’s how you get faster: you go to the track and train. Also, you do pushups. When we got there, she ran as fast as she could and then dropped and did pushups. I was speechless. Both she and Felix walked/ran over a mile and a half. Felix is good at going at a consistent pace, while Vivian runs as hard as she can and then sits down. Today, she kept wandering to the corner of the track where there was some shade. I kept asking her where she was going, but she didn’t answer me.