Day 3,560 —Reflections on the Shippey 100, Part 4: the Final Leg and Recovery and the Video of the Race! —

         So happy I was outside before the sun this morning even though I have been feeling awful lately. My watch told me that due to my poor sleep, my recovery took a -3 hit. I thought, I would love to sleep, but I was busy coughing and feeling cold!

         Part 4: the Final Leg or No Feeling is Final

         I felt great starting out on that leg. I was moving so much faster than I was earlier just because I was able to go out at my own pace. The leg starts out in the woods with low elevation, so no trouble there, but when the trail started taking me to the ridge, the cold wind and snow was punishing in its resolve.

         I started shaking, and my entire face was beginning to hurt. Even though I had Vaseline caked on, my nose and eyebrows especially felt like they were throbbing in pain. My jacket was freezing again, and I couldn’t remember if I had brought another one. It was only a little under five miles, but it felt like my whole world had changed once I finally hit the start/finish aid station.

         I saw Karolina, who did the medical study over ultra racing last year, and Jeremiah, who finished in 3^rd place last year. They both went out of their way to help me. Karolina let me borrow her gloves because mine were wet. They both commented on how much I could have used another pair of shoes (mine were soaking) but we all laughed when Jeremiah asked me my shoe size (12.5). A guy who has helped me in three race, I’ll call “the friar” because he dressed up as a Friar one year at the Shawnee Hill, had me sit down and take my shoes and socks off. He put my dry ones on and gave me some Sprite, which was helping my stomach. I was so miffed they didn’t have ginger ale, but sprite was doing the trick.

         Jeremiah had disappeared for a moment, and then I was ready to go, hoping he would still be willing to pace me, but I forgot his name. I described him to Karolina, and she found him for me, and he was ready to go. Later I realized this had more to do with my brain fog than my actual forgetfulness. 

         I remember last year talking with him briefly. He seemed so positive. We talked about how “no feeling is final” and how even though I might feel bad now, that is not evidence I will in the future.

         I nodded a long, liking how the phrase sounded, “no feeling is final.” I told him that one of my counseling teachers had told my class that the average emotion lasts a minute and a half. Now, I wonder if I have that statistic right, but the point was that we reengage our feelings at regular intervals to continue feeling “stuck.”

         The leg we were doing was the last leg last year, and it is probably my least favorite of the legs. There are just so many turns and so much elevation for only 3.6 miles. I am always looking down at my watch in disbelief.

         I struggled to make it back to the aid station, and I knew then I was going to need a minute to recover. Part of me now just wished I had gone at least one more leg to the next aid station. I was dry heaving and getting the cold shakes, where I can just start shaking uncontrollably and struggle to breathe. The cold shakes are nothing new for me, and I often wonder If it is because I got hypothermia when I was 11. Now, if I accidentally stay in the cold for too long, I can just start shaking uncontrollably, and it takes a while until I start breathing normally again. I ultimately felt like as much as I wanted to quit, I was still pushing that thought out of my head. 

         I called my dad to tell him I was going to be at this aid station for a while. I laid down on my back with a small blanket to keep me warm. When my dad got there, he looked at me and encouraged me to stop. He probably thought I had already wanted to stop because I had called him, but I wasn’t thinking clearly then.

         It took me until the next day to notice how mentally foggy I had been that night. Eric said he was going to take a nap and finish when it was light. I honestly wish I had done that, but I also just wanted to go home, and that’s what my dad was offering to do.

         Once on the highway, I realized my watch was still on. I immediately edited my run when it uploaded, but just one more thing happened. I also had my watch on “navigation mode” vs “running” mode, which was okay but not helpful for the navigation and none of my usual data screens were present. It also didn’t do a mile average.

         Now at home, I feel overwhelmed with the event and all that happened, but I record my video faithfully. I felt bad I hadn’t been able to take really any pictures, and I knew no matter what I would still need to report on this run. I cannot just make videos about the runs that go right, that would make this whole sport seem a lot easier.

         Only 6 people finished. Congratulations to all the finishers! Conner killed with a little under 28 hours and Eric was second over 30 hours.

         I kept thinking when I woke up at 6 the next morning. There was still time to finish! But now I am home with my wife, daughter, and son. My wife was encouraging but ignored my comments about going back out there. To be honest, I never really have embraced the notion of the mid-run nap, although in this run it would have been the right call.

         I kept thinking how I was letting my perfectionism get in the way of a finishing. What, just because I couldn’t have beat last years’ time, there was no reason to finish? Just because I wasn’t going to be able to run the entire race, that’s a reason to quit?

 

This week, I got sick on Tuesday and haven’t felt better since. I wonder would I be sicker now if I had finished?

I called in on Wednesday, knowing I was not going to be able to function well enough to make it to my car and drive to work. I spent the morning playing Baldur’s Gate 3, which was a good distraction while it lasted, but then I started working on the video.

I was surprised to see how happy I was for most of the race and how normal I looked. I started out with over 20 minutes of footage and spent the day getting it to a tight 8:30. I hope you like it, and I hope that my struggle through this race and reporting on it might help someone else.

And my apologies to Joel, who was planning to pace me starting at midnight.