Day 3,354 —Feeling Better—

 When I was running today, I noticed something that I hadn’t been able to enjoy in almost a week—no pain in my eye! When I got home, I looked in the mirror and saw that both my eyes were almost free from the red splotches that had been so prevalent before! As I write this, my left eye still doesn’t feel 100 percent, but still being able to type this without squinting and having to take breaks is pretty wonderful! I keep thinking about the race and the future and I keep reflecting on how I have always felt like even when I am putting in equal effort in sporting events, other people don’t seem to see it that way.

I am glad I am old enough now to not feel the disappointment from my coaches and teammates, which could happen when I was wrestling. Right now, I am thinking about how to train for the next race, and I am encouraged by this defeat. I am clearly not in the same shape that I was last year at this time, but I have more experience, and I still have time to train for the Shawnee Hill 100.

 

I can think back on how quick everyone has always been to count me out if I have performance that is not ideal. I think about how those people were never there for me when I started training, often were skeptical and discouraging during training, and only seem to appear supportive when I am winning.

 

I am not complaining, but it is still upsetting.