Day 4,444—Everyone Needs an Advocate—

 

Start time: 8:30 a.m.

Weather: Mid 70s, wind 4.0 mi/h, Humidity 72%

   I listened to the podcast episode from Weathering the Storm, and it was so much better than I thought. I was still thinking about a lot of the stories and things I didn’t talk about, but I was also disappointed that I didn’t make some of the stories around the weather conditions more dramatic. The flash flood during the Shawnee Hill was insane! The two major winter storms I ran in were just out of this world difficult. I also didn’t talk about my true origin story in ultra-running. I wanted to talk about this idea that I have been telling other runners recently. I originally would tell people one of the best things about ultra runs is that everyone is cheering you on, but that’s not what life is like. When you think in general about some of the most difficult things a person might go through, something like addiction, mental illness, family tragedy, it is not that people don’t encourage you they’re just not there when you need them telling you that you’re doing great and you got to just keep going a little more, or maybe you need to sit and drink water and need someone to sit with you and check-in and make sure you’re doing alright.

    I am not suggesting that people aren’t concerned about my well-being, but during an ultra race, so many people talk to me, offer to help, and it feels great. It feels amazing to have such a universally accepted purpose. People who see you struggling will go out of their way to help you. This is not the case in real life. In real life, if you’re dealing with addiction and have just done something amazing like not relapsing at 1 p.m. on a Monday after you learn that you got fired from your job and that someone stole your bike. No one sees you struggle through that situation, and if you manage to make it out without using your substance, no one is there ready to give you a high five. Or maybe you're dealing with the death of a child, and you don’t know how you’re going to get up tomorrow or pay attention to anything, and you have done it! You made it through another impossible hour of that day. No one is there to check in with you, to tell you how amazing you are for moving forward.

    Yet in running, we get this. Today, I wondered why this is the case, and I considered that, with running, it is universally accepted that it is both difficult and valuable, so most people don’t have many negative things to say about someone running a race. There are exceptions, but in general, people are positive and encouraging. The people at the race are some of the most encouraging and supportive people I have ever met, and they’re at every race I go to, so that’s just something that doing ultras has taught me to do in real life, and it is something I appreciate in every race. When kids tell me about some of the things they have been dealing with, one of the first things I tell them is what a great job they have been doing navigating a parent with addiction, a brother in jail, and a constant feeling of worthlessness. Most things people deal with in their personal lives are so much more difficult than running 100 miles, but for whatever reason, most of us never advocate for them in those situations because, I think, we largely don’t know what to say.

This run was so difficult! I was so tired, but I let myself take breaks and listen to books on tape.