Day 4,568—1 Run until the Rim to River: hard to Leave—

 

Start time: 4:45 a.m.

Weather: High 40s wind .2 mi/h, Humidity 90%

        I knew I needed to be more motivated about packing last night than the night before, and I did a better job staying focused and getting a lot of stuff into bags and into my car. I realized that one of the drop bag locations doesn’t make a lot of sense because it is only 7 miles from the start and 7 miles from the end, so I am not sure why I would need a drop bag at that time in the race; meanwhile, so many sections have a good 10 miles between aid stations, which in a race at this time of the year should be fine. Still, it means I will need to bring my water bladder. If I had to repack, I'd bring only two drop bags. 

        I was hit with an overwhelming feeling of both sadness and joy yesterday as I watched my two kids playing Mario Kart together on the couch downstairs. I thought about how temporary this moment in my life was. Here I am, just starting as a school counselor and working toward my goal of running 100 miles in every state in the country. I have so much ahead of me, so much still to do. My kids are 3 and 7, and I still have all the things to go through with them, and while part of me can feel like I am just barely surviving, barely holding on. Part of me knows that as I get older and theoretically have more money and free time. I will also miss this and wish more than anything that I could go back and do it again, so I am going to try to embrace this time in my life and keep my eyes wide open.