Day 3,812 —Raining—

 

I wonder if I am in a bad mood because it is raining, or is the rain responding to my mood? The rain cannot be responding to my mood, but sometimes it does seem like the weather reflects how I am feeling. I am sure it is not intentional, which makes me wonder if in reality I am being influenced by the changing weather.

 This is one of the few mornings I have gone running where it doesn’t work, and I am still annoyed with what I am doing. I listen to music and turn it off. I play a book, but I don’t want to listen to that either, or a podcast, so I end up not listening to anything which makes me think about what I am doing and how I am so tired.

 Yet, my heart rate is in the 120s and my breathing is normal. In fact, I could probably go a lot faster if I wanted to, and I could probably run a lot more, but I don’t want to. It suddenly feels silly, this thing that I do every day.