Day 2,715 —Who Makes You Happy— with my PICTURE of a DEER #2

Watching Scenes from a Marriage this week, both the original and the HBO version that just came out. It is all about why people cheat, why marriage is end, and open marriages versus monogamous relationships. The different ways people exist in relationships has always fascinated me. And people who have unconventional relationships interest me too. I know an open marriage is not for me, but people see marriage and partnership differently than I do; however, the argument that it is impossible to have a monogamous relationship long term, and you could just fall in love with someone else by accident is problematic for me. 

I don’t equate real love with the feeling of falling in love. The emotion of being attracted to someone and the knowledge of being in a mutually beneficial, long term, relationship that becomes part of your identity are not even comparable. 

I don’t get how people will blame others in their lives for their unhappiness and then take it out on them. If you’re unhappy, it most likely has to do with you, not the people around you. If you think your marriage isn’t working, you should talk to your partner and seek help first. I fully understand if separation and divorce become necessary steps. However, you shouldn’t try to blame it on an accident of falling in love with someone else. 

When people cheat, there is always a lot of small decisions they make first that make themselves open to cheating. The next day they might do some mental gymnastics that make them feel better about themselves by calling it an accident. I encourage you to instead be open and honest with your partner. 

If you feel like something is not working in your relationship with someone, I suggest talking to them about it, instead of looking for answer somewhere else. 

Also, I ran tonight, and thought about these shows, and it was a nice night. A lot of people out having a good time. Live shows were going on and people seemed to be out in droves in downtown Webster.